How much do you worth?

You are what you think you are. This old age wisdom couldn't be much truer. And I would like to improvise, you are how much you think you worth.

I am not talking worthy in the sense of dollar and cents because then you would be blaring out that your dignity is so priceless that it cannot be matched by anything else in the world. I am talking about the way you bring up yourself in various situations.

Say for example, you are being interviewed and are asked on your expected salary, how would you reply? Grinning sheepishly and mumbling under your breath a figure? Then might as well you write in bold capital letter in your forehead 'I WANT XXX AMOUNT BUT I DON'T THINK I AM WORTH IT!'

Similar situations such as when you are increasing the rental for your condominium, when you are applying for a bank loan, when you are charging your consultancy fee to your clients, when you are presenting your idea across the board, when you are proposing to your fiance, etc; How do you response? Is your eyes staring at your shoes trying to catch a reflection of your pity self or do your face brims with such pride of ownership knowing deep down that you are delivering a value across?

Most normal executive class working people in Malaysia didn't carry this sense of pride and worthiness in them. When their clients voice out something, they dare not voice out their opinion. Heck, they are even scared to call up their clients when issues arises and work with them together to find a solutions.

All because they think they are not worthy enough. Deep down.

Compounding Factor

I believe you have heard of the power of compounding. Someone labeled it as the eighth wonders of the world, I forgotten who but I think it's Einstein. It's the accumulation of interest so subtle that you don't realize it at the beginning but as it gradually grows, soon its' effect seems to be exponential.

Of course you've seen it from one of the insurance presentation that your ex-primary schoolmate present to you. To add salt to the pain, she have not been in contact with you for 13 years and the first thing she comes and talk to you is that how she 'cares' for your retirement and wealth protection.

But other than insurance, in fact most of the things in our life also works on this compounding factor. Say for example; you hate your wife nagging at you, you hate people cutting queue in front of your car, you hate guy that covers his thin hair across his bald head and you hate waiter that brings you wrong order.

Each of this irritable behavior, standing alone doesn't carry much weight. Although it irritates you, you can tolerate. But if on the morning that you're about to go to work, you step on your kids toy and fell down spraining your back and your wife nags at your negligence followed by two idiot Malaysian driver cut your queue from both sides simultaneously; when you reach your breakfast spot, the new half bald waiter brings you a wrong order, I'm pretty sure he'll be screwed upside down by you. That's compounding factor at work.

I had a real experience today on the compounding factor. Normally my tolerance level is super high, but imagine the above description describes only my morning and I am being asserted by these situations 3 times a day for continuously 3 days. Would you blow? I did.

Sorry Michael, you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, that's why I FUCK-ED you. Anyway, you still suck BIG TIME!

Mentor

I've just read an interesting note on a mentor. Here it is....

If you examine any successful person they typically have one thing in common: a mentor.
Nearly every successful person in history had someone who they could confide in and
learn from when times were tough. To be successful in life it is very important to have
a mentor, a coach, someone with more experience than you, someone who is in a position
in life that you desire to be in the future.

Most people underestimate the value of a mentor and this is the biggest reasons for failure
in business and in life. A mentor offers valuable insight to things that only experience can teach
as well as a host of other things. They have fruit on their tree which shows they have paid the
price to be in a position to offer wisdom to you if you need it.

The following points will put into perspective the importance of having a good mentor and the
peace of mind that comes with knowing you have someone in your corner that is knowledgeable
about your business or life.

Encouragement
A mentor will encourage you when you are feeling low. The word encouragement literally means
"to give courage", and a good mentor will provide just that. This does not mean that other people
cannot offer you encouragement but when it is coming from someone who knows and understands
your business and life inside out it means a lot more. A good mentor will motivate you with a simple
statement that affirms you are on the right track even when things do not seem to be going well.
They have the ability to reassure you that everything is going as it should be because they have
been there before.

Reduce mistakes.
A mentor will help you prevent mistakes that you otherwise would have no way of avoiding. There
are only two ways to gain wisdom in life: making your own mistakes, or learning from others mistakes. If you're thinking about walking through a minefield, you probably won't follow the path where there's an empty set of boots lying on the ground. A mentor has already made all the mistakes for you so you don't have to do it all over again. So in other words experience is the best teacher IF it's not your own experience. Failure is only possible if you decide to figure out everything on your own. Here is the problem: you don't have enough time to make all the mistakes you need to make to be successful.

Eliminate weaknesses
A mentor will help you remove your weaknesses. This is usually the tougher aspect of a mentoring
relationship because it involves pruning off some of the things holding you back in life. If you have a good mentor understand that you are not always going to like them. Their primary role is to be your mentor and their secondary role is to be your friend. Your best friends see you as you are, your mentor see you for who you can be. Your friends will tolerate your weaknesses, but your mentor will remove them entirely. Your friends are comfortable with your past, but your mentor is more comfortable with your future. A good mentor will stretch you just by being in your presence because they know and understand you better than you understand yourself.

Bring out your strengths
Remember that Tiger Woods had a coach. Most people if asked if they had the option of being coached in golf by Tiger Woods or by Tiger's coach which person they would choose almost unanimously say they would choose Tiger Woods. The truth however is that it takes a certain type of person to bring out talent and ability undeveloped in people. Talent cannot be taught which is why coaches are more valuable than players. Without good coaches, talent would be useless. A good mentor will help bring out the best in you when you don't necessarily see the qualities you possess.

Honesty
A mentor will tell you the truth because their primary objective is to make sure you are successful.
Your friends will always tell you what you want to hear, but a mentor will tell you what you need to hear. This is not always easy to do because of ego issues especially in men. But a good mentor understands that a day of tension is better than a lifetime of regret and as such will always tell you the truth rather than let you believe you have arrived at your destination.

Congratulations if you finish this as you take this seriously. :) Now, what's the phone number of Barack Obama's coach?

Your truth or absolute truth?

Truth is really a matter of perception. Most of the time, your truth is not the absolute truth. Your truth is base on the accumulation of your culture, experience and exposure. These experiences creates your perception and judgment of what's the truth and what's not.

Even your truth changes over time, when you are a kid, you are afraid of the monster under your bed. As you grow older, you know that monster under the bed is not the truth, but the effect is so strong that sometimes you are still afraid of the dark.

Before Portugese Sailor, Ferdinand Magellan's expedition sail around the world during 1519-1522, people believe that the world is flat. That is the majority truth at the time, but still it is not the absolute truth.

Your truth believes that you are super busy now but the absolute truth is that you are too lazy to invest your time effectively. 10 years from now, you are going to moan that you're busier than ever, but still that is not the absolute truth.

Because someone told you so before, because it is done that way previously, because you seen it before, because everyone says so, because Blah Blah Blah; remember that it is still not the absolute truth. Don't be too fixated on your view, people or you yourself might prove that it's a false belief afterall.

We live in the greatest time in the world right now; open your eyes,ears and heart; satisfy your curiosity and find the absolute truth!

Chinese New Year

Maybe it's the strong publicity and products display at hypermarkets that creates the hype. Chinese New Year products has been on display as soon as Christmas is over! Or, is it before?

Maybe it's the knowledge that this Chinese New Year won't be as tight as pass 2 years. Like they say, money can't buy happiness but it sure buy things that make you happy.

Maybe it's the lightings, decorations and background music at Hailam Kopitiam where I'm writing this blog that triggers the feeling.

Maybe it's the Feng Shui Master from Indonesia who predicts that this coming year is my BIG AUSPICIOUS year where my career and love life will reach its' new high.

Whatever it is, I am so into Chinese New Year mood now! Gong Xi Fa Chai! :)

Victim vs. Owner

We have a rough idea when people say 'Victim Thinking'. Essentially, it means one who always play the victim character and the whole wide world is unjust towards him/her. He/she will blame, moan and bitch to all that would lend them ears and mostly the listener will be other victims who will say 'You think that's bad? Wait till you hear my story!' and they will go on and on.

The opposite of victim will be an owner. An owner owns his spirit and treats life as a wonderful journey. Instead of complaining, they look for solutions. They improvise and innovate their way throughout and they just keep getting better. An owner touches the soul of people around them through their words and actions. When you watch or listen to someone and you feel goose bumps in your heart, that's when you see an owner in action.

For example, a good singer may sing a song and hit all the notes perfectly but when we listen to it, it sounds good only. Nothing special. But, when an owner sings, we feel the spirit and inspirations that touches us. It's the moment when you unknowingly said 'WOW!' or the moment when tears start streaming down uncontrollably. These people take full ownership of the moment and perform something beyond our consciousness. It performs straight to our spirit.

Sportsman, artists, politicians, salesmen and even normal people like you and me experience this total ownership moments before. It seems like something bigger and greater than our normal self is in play and we totally owned it.

Be an owner and live the moment. Stop bitching and complaining.